Jay Kali Ma

Am I still the goddess with the countless amount of arms and hands? 
Am I holding any instruments? Why did I give up on the garden? 
Why is it too much for me to grow from seeds? Why don't I kneel 
between the weeds? Why does it always rain on the washing? 
Why did the flooding of my life start from my center? Can I drown my own eyes?
Can I get some time to not see, to not be me? Can I get a break? 
Can I stay dark for longer than a night? 
Why can't I choose between fast forward and erase rewind 
Why am I afraid to be a child of time? It is sick, that's why. Can I cry myself blind? 
Will you finally be here when I will open my bright eyes again. 
Will from the mud once again rise a flower or a tree, will there be fruits 
for you and me? Which year? Can we after all get planted besides each other, can we grow 
into that kind of hug that looks ancient and everlasting? Am I to hopeless to grow together? 
Can my arms turn into branches? Can I hide inside myself and lose my mind in the thicket?
Where no instrument my instrument is humming out of tune 
or maybe it is just a different scale, maybe it is whale song. 
Maybe I am upside down in the darkness of this year, with my belly in the sun
I turn around and all is new, hold on, hold on.